Some people say there should be a boundary between people’s ‘work’ and ‘personal’ lives, and that workplace discussions should never get personal. I believe this notion to be entirely unrealistic. Humans are not able to compartmentalize aspects of our lives indefinitely without compromising our mental health in the process. We are who we are, and we carry every aspect of who we are everywhere we go. The COVID-19 pandemic has thrust mental health to the center of every workplace wellness conversation, and as a mental health practitioner, I think it’s about damn time. Gone are the days when organizations can get away with merely adding Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) to their suite of benefits, while hoping for the best. Sure, EAPs can be helpful (provided they are competent and outcomes-driven), but conversations about mental health belong everywhere employee wellness and organizational effectiveness are discussed.
Here’s the good news – learning to have conversations about mental health is totally doable, and creating a mental health-friendly workplace doesn’t involve building an army of in-house therapists. There’s a time and place for everything, and while going deep into an individual’s mental health circumstances might not be appropriate water cooler chit-chat, it is good (and important!) to let conversations veer towards the ‘personal’ side of things when they need to.
Here are 3 practical tips for creating a mental health-friendly workplace culture:
Leave space. When you ask someone how they’re doing, give extra time for them to respond before moving on. Try counting to 3 in your head after you think they’re finished answering the question. If they ask you why you’re pausing, you can always say something like “how you’re doing is important to me,” or, “I wanted to be sure I heard you.” You never know when a person has something close to the surface that they need to get off their chest.
Acknowledge. Not every statement requires a response, and not every question requires an answer. Just because a person asks you a question it doesn’t mean they want you to weigh in. If someone discloses to you that they are struggling with their mental health, replying with something like, “I’m really glad you shared that with me…” is always a good way to reassure someone that they matter.
Connect and redirect. Let’s play out the above scenario a little further. Someone has told you they are struggling with their mental health. There are countless ways you could respond, but let’s say you choose to say, “I’m really glad you shared that with me, but I’m not the best person to have that conversation with.” While what you’re saying is conceptually correct, you may come across as dismissive and uncaring. If, on the other hand, you choose to say, “I’m really glad you shared that with me, and I’d like to help you find the best person to talk to,” you are appropriately redirecting the person to a helpful resource while staying connected with them and reassuring them that they’re not alone.
To help you or someone you know manage mental health challenges, it’s always a good idea to have knowledge of mental health resources. If your organization has an EAP, find out how to access it and share that information freely and without judgment. Here are a few more resources that could make a difference: